What I've Learned About Myself..

Throughout the past 2 months (roughly 8 weeks) of my Interpersonal Communications class, I've learned a lot about myself.  First off, I need to control my temper!  If I can do this, every day will be a better day.  Second, I need to smile, no matter how bad I'm hurting.  Sometimes it fools your brain into thinking you're happy, but sometimes it doesn't.  Regardless, there's others out there who would love to have a smile from a hard-working, college student.  It could make their day that much brighter.  Third, always listen to both sides of the story.  One side could say one thing, one side could say another.  It's up to me to decide which side is the right one.  Forth, nonverbal communication can be misleading.  Saying "I'm fine" with a harsh tone means there's something wrong, slouching means your tired, rolling your eyes means "oh be quiet!" Lastly, love life.  Life's too short to worry about the little things or create drama.  Life is short, precious, and priceless.

"Fly to the second star to the right and straight on until morning."

I bid you ado.

A quote to live by

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." - Harriet Tubman

 

This is a quote that I've lived by for many years.  We have within us strength, which keeps us going day after day.  We pass this along to others who need it by being a friend, a spouse, a family member, or a complete stranger handing another stranger a dollar to help them out.  A smile is a strength, so to speak.  We pass this on day by day.  I smile at everyone I come in contact with, because a smile is contagious.  Someone could be having a horrible day, such as myself yesterday.  I received a smile, and my day was so much better.  I passed on the smile to others, who, in turn, seemed to have a better day, as well. 

 

Patience needs to be an every day occurrence, along with a smile.  A smile is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of power.  Patience accompanies the smile.  If we're not patient, we stress.  For example, I was at work the other day making a bed.  I started to get impatient with others because I was dragging a bit.  The head housekeeper didn't send up anyone to help me, so I got impatient and frustrated, in turn making me slow down.  When someone showed up a half hour later to help, I was already at breaking point.  Had I just sat down and had a breather, I would have been okay.  Had I just been patient, I wouldn't have stressed, which, in turn, wouldn't have caused my blood pressure to rise.  

 

Strength, patience, and passion are what we need to get along in the world.  At least, most of us.  Some of us have the strength to work a job, go to school, and raise a family.  That's strength, patience, and passion for you!  The strength to keep going and make a better life for you and your family, the patience to get it done, and the passion to strive for it! 

"A Smile Makes the Heart Grow Fonder."

We all know the saying "a smile makes the heart grow fonder," or so I hope.  I've noticed that smiling to others makes their day better.  For instance, I had to go to the grocery store to get things for the breakfast bar at work.  I smiled at one of the employees who seemed like she was having a bad day.  I got my things, checked out, and went back to work.  Later, I had to go get something else during my break for a snack and saw the same employee.  She explained to me that she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that nothing was going right, and it seemed like everyone else was grouchy, too.  She said my smile helped her have a better attitude.  

One little thing can change, or in this case brighten, someone else's day.  This could be a simple thing such as a smile, a friendly "hello," or a wave.  I think doing little things like this is painless.  It's worth a shot!

Working with a positive attitude!

So, I recently started a new job. I'm that annoying person in the morning in your hotel.  *Knocks twice* Housekeeping.  *Waits for door to open*  I know, I was a customer at a hotel before.  Those people are so annoying.  Now, I'm one of them! 

I've learned a lot the last week at this new job.  Every day is a challenge.  First off, I'm in 85 degree heat in the hallway going from room to room and cleaning up after others all day.  Second, I 'm constantly moving.  Third, I'm on my feet.  Forth, did I mention I clean up after others?  Somehow, someway, I've found a way to make time go by faster. 

Though I come to rooms, most of the time there's no one in there.  I do what I need to do, and get on to the next room.  Every now and again, I come along a customer.  For instance, today I came across I believe 7.  Though I'm hot, sweaty, my feet hurt, and I just want to go home, I put myself in their shoes.  I'd want to be greeted, asked how I am, and hear a friendly voice.  I push all the pain and overheating to the side and smile politely, "Good morning sir, ma'am.  How are you?"  I always get the response, "I'm good, thanks. Keep up the good work; the rooms look wonderful."  That's always accompanied by a smile.  First, the polite response is nice.  The smile makes it better.  The compliment on the room is just what I need to boost my day!

By pushing aside your anger, hurt, pain, overheating, and whatever else you may come across in your day, put yourself in the other person's shoes.  Being polite and positive gives a good response and a wonderful way to start the day.

Conflict is a recipe for disaster!

My ex-fiance and I are still roommates.  Needless to say, he thinks certain things are funny, but he knows I take those subjects seriously.  Before I go on, there are several different types of conflict you should know about.  These are: blow-up, civil, deja vu, indirect, mock, sarcastic sniping, and silent treatment. 

With he and I, there's different kinds of conflict.  He'll say something that he thinks is funny, such as "I hate you!"  Me, now being pleased, will blow up and say, "I've had it! You need to move out! You have until the end of the week!"  Then, I will slam my bedroom door.  He'll shout, "Nichole, I'm joking!" In a playful manner.  So, needless to say, I'm blow-up and he's mockery. 

Now, when it's him who's upset, he's the blow-up one and I'm the civil one.  I'll ask calmly, "Why are you ignoring me?" He'll respond with, "Nichole! I'm trying to watch my show! Ever since you've got off of work all you've been doing is nag, nag, nag!"  I'll just look at him and respond with, "Okay."  Then, he'll go from blow-up to mockery.  "You know, Nichole, I really hate the way you act.  I really hate living with you.  I think you're a horrible person."  Then I'll take the silent treatment approach and just ignore him.  He'll come at me with the sarcastic sniping approach with, "Oh, so you're mad at me now?"  All the while, I'll just give him the silent treatment until he changes the subject.

So, there are many kinds of conflict that have been represented.  Actually, all except deja vu, which I'm sure we've come across in conflict before.  I do mention that every conversation he and I have seems to be repeated over and over, but that's just deja vu in general.

Not communicating is grounds for disaster

When it comes to communication, it is a key in everyday successful relationships.  For instance, a very good friend of mine that I have known for 19 years e-mailed me today.  He asked me why I hadn't e-mailed, called, nor texted in a couple of months.  He reads my facebook statuses and gets concerned for me.  In a nutshell, he told me that if I needed to talk to anyone, to please pick up the phone and call him.  He also said he missed me.  

Being that he and I had been friends for so long, I felt horrible knowing that I hadn't communicated with him.  It could ruin our friendship in one way or another.  I hadn't asked him how his wedding planning was going with his fiance, if the date had changed, or even called just to check up on him.  It made me feel like a horrible friend.

I decided to e-mail him back saying that I had just started a new job as a housekeeper, and I'm now going to two colleges and working a few hours a day on the side.  Most of my facebook updates are through my phone, so I'm never really at a computer.  I apologized for being distant, asked him about the wedding, and so on.  Needless to say, we're childhood friends.  No breech of communication will come between us.  But, if neither of us had contacted the other, it would probably ruin the friendship.

Negative Actions Cause Negative Reactions and Vise Versa!

I was out at the bar with a couple of friends last week. Okay, it was only me and my best friend, but a table of people I met while I was with her. My ex-fiance showed up, and the feeling at the table turned awkward. He was pushing me off of my chair, so I moved, got another stool, and squeezed myself in at the table. Then, he got up, supposedly going to the bar, and flicked water at me. I got up to leave the table, and he said, "You're being a big baby!" This negative action caused a negative reaction. I said, "I'm not the one pushing you off your chair or flicking water at you! You're being childish!" Not only was that a negative action, but a negative reaction as well. I calmly said, "I came out to have fun with my best friend. Will you let that happen? I've been hurting for awhile and I can't stay in that house anymore." With that, he walked away. He stayed at the bar, but stayed away from me.

Because negative actions cause negative reactions and vise versa, I tried to calm myself down and be grown up. Once I let him know I was still hurting, but said it calmly, he knew he couldn't bother me anymore. Thus, if there's negativity, try to make it positive.